My Breast Cancer Story

By Julianne Baldock

Have you ever felt your life was going along just perfectly, for it to come to a crashing halt with an uncertain future? This was the scariest time of my life.

Life was perfect. Carl and I were expecting our second bubba to arrive in mid to late July. We had just purchased our first home and received the keys on the 29th of April 2016. At 28 weeks pregnant I found a lump that felt odd. I asked Carl to feel the area and asked what he thought. His exact words “hmm… it doesn’t feel right”. It was a Tuesday. I had seen my obstetrician (Emma Buckland) the day before. With Carl also thinking that this lump didn’t feel quite right, I decided I would mention it to Emma at my next visit.

My 30-week check up, right at the end of my appointment I remembered to tell Emma about the lump. She thought that the lump was a possible blocked milk duct, but decided she would order an ultra sound for just in case. During the ultra sound the Doctor that assessed the images came into me and said “a biopsy hasn’t been ordered” and that the mass was “too large not to biopsy”, and asked if we could biopsy it, to which I agreed.

The next morning, Friday the 13th of May (aka. Black Friday), Emma rang me wanting to see me. I told her that I was working on the family farm until late, that I could come and see her Monday for the results. She asked me if I could knock off early to come and see her that afternoon, in that moment my heart sank, I asked her straight out “it’s bad isn’t it?” to which she confirmed, “yes”. I continued to ask Emma for the rest of the results over the phone. Dad and I were out feeding sheep with hay when the phone call came through, I stopped the Ute to listen to the results. 

Emma informed me of a “Grade 3 Invasive Ductile Carcinoma”. I got off the phone, out of the Ute and burst into tears. Once the news had sunk in, I kind of come to terms with what was going on. I’ve always said that Friday the 13th being black Friday was unlucky for some, and this time it was my turn to be the unlucky one. This was my first “joke” or lighthearted thought to help myself be able to accept what I had just been told. 

That afternoon there were a lot of phone calls made to find the best breast surgeon in Melbourne. Emma helped us search and so did my older brother Michael and sister-in-law Jeannette. Jeannette works for the Mater Foundation in Brisbane, and has many contacts within the Brisbane hospital to help find the best doctor for me in Melbourne. We saw Professor Bruce Mann, head Surgical Oncologist in Melbourne, the Monday afternoon to which he praised me for finding the lump. Apparently it was very difficult to feel even for a professional. Bruce ordered more tests including a lung x-ray, breast ultra sound, liver ultra sound (where they also checked my kidneys) to take place the next day. He didn’t have the exact results of the ‘type’ of cancer I had at his appointment or how we were going to treat it, he wanted to make sure it wasn’t anywhere else as far as we could tell being pregnant with limited testing. 

We left that appointment feeling a little lost and we didn’t have many answers until we had the above tests. Being pregnant I couldn’t have the usual PET scan to determine if the cancer had spread, it was still very scary days for us. Especially when we were told that the lungs and kidneys were clear but they had found a spot on my liver that needed more investigation, at a later date. As you can imagine many thoughts were running through my head with what was going to happen to our unborn baby and myself.

People say, try not to think about the bad side, but when you get told you have cancer, it’s definitely the first thing that comes into your mind. This thought doesn’t go away, it’s constantly in the back of your mind, even to this day.  

Bruce referred us to a Medical Oncologist in Doctor Richard De Boer. Bruce managed to get us an appointment with Richard and we saw him the next day at 6pm. When we saw Richard he explained to us about what sort of cancer I had, being a triple negative and not a hormonally related cancer. 15% of people get this sort of breast cancer, compared to a hormonally related breast cancer at 85%. 

We learnt that my cancer could only be treated with chemotherapy, radiation and surgery. Richard explained to us that it was safe to be able to start chemotherapy whilst pregnant, as “the placenta was an amazing filter”. In saying that, he also explained to us about the research that had been done with chemotherapy and pregnant women over 20 years, this made our decision to start chemotherapy whilst pregnant much easier to swallow. 

He explained that the spot in my liver, if it was to be secondary breast cancer, it would be treated at the same time with the same chemotherapy as my breast. This put me in a good head space knowing that, until bubs was delivered, the only thing I could do to help myself was to start chemotherapy. Richard booked me in the following Monday to start chemotherapy. Four doses of a drug they call “AC” (aka The Red Devil) over 12 weeks was first on the list.

Monday the 23rd May 2016, first day of chemo. What a massive and exhausting day. Left home at 8am and got home after 8pm. 14 days after my first treatment I started to lose my hair. It was so itchy and coming out in chunks. It had to go even though I didn’t want it to. As my hair was being shaved off, this was the first time I mentally struggled. Even though I quickly come to terms with being bald, it was the first time I saw myself as being “sick”. If I had my hair as I walked down the street, people wouldn’t know any different, but to me I was visibly sick. The amount of people that would stop and stare at me as I tried to do everyday jobs like grocery shopping with a young child, a big pregnant belly and a bald head covered by a turban, makes you feel uncomfortable. 

The time had come to give birth to our second baby. Planned by the obstetrician and oncologist in between chemotherapy hits 2 and 3. Blood tests were taken 2 days prior to confirm it was safe for me to have the required Caesar. Our second beautiful baby girl was born. This was extremely tough on my body but we were so happy; she was the little bundle we had been waiting for and a great distraction, for a short time.

Ten days after giving birth I had my 3rd hit of chemo, and if that wasn’t enough to deal with, our baby girl was admitted to hospital with the RSV virus for 6 days. I didn’t see her for 3 days with the risk of getting sick myself. No one had suggested that I wear a mask into the hospital to see her until on day 4 where I was able to go and see her with a mask on. This was nearly the time that mentally broke me throughout this journey.

Two weeks later followed all the scans and tests that I wasn’t allowed to have earlier while pregnant. After my 4th hit of chemo, the following week, we received good news that they were all clear, until I asked about the spot that was found on my liver. They decided that this needed more investigation, with another test to follow, being a liver contrast test. This test showed up the same spot with an active blood flow. Meaning that it could be:
1. A birthmark
2. Breast Cancer or
3. Another type of Cancer.

I was going to have to undergo a Liver biopsy to rule out any cancer. The liver biopsy was done the following week on the Wednesday morning. I would be partially knocked out and have IV pain killers. That plan wasn’t exactly the case. Because of the position and size of the spot, it was extremely difficult to get the biopsy sample. I had to be alert enough to be able to hold a really deep breath and sit very still. I tell you I have never felt anything so painful. 

For the results I was going to have to wait until the following Monday, but my breast surgeon Bruce Mann decided to give me a call on the Friday afternoon to fill me in with the good news that they had only found Liver cells in the liver. This spot is now not a big concern but it will have to be monitored for a little while with tests in the future just to be 100% sure it isn’t anything other than liver cells.

That finishes up the 12 weeks of “AC” chemotherapy treatment, officially marking halfway. Weekly chemo was next on the hit list. Twelve weekly doses of a drug called “Taxol”.

For the first 3 weeks of receiving this drug the nurses have to sit with you to make sure you don’t have a reaction. There is a two-way drip in your arm so they can pump the necessary drugs in if you were to have a reaction. This was a little daunting on week 1 but thankfully I didn’t have a reaction. 

Weekly chemo I found so much easier on the body. The side effects were nowhere near as bad with the main ones being tiredness, the loss of my eyebrows and eyelashes as well as hot and cold flushes. I had to become a pro at drawing on my eyebrows. Being a girl that works on a farm and very rarely wore make up unless it was for an important occasion, it soon became the normal thing to do. When you try drawing eyebrows on without any foundation it looks pretty odd and without eyebrows drawn on and not having any hair you look very strange.

The weekly chemo seemed to tick over pretty quickly with my maid of honour Kim and bridesmaid Megan, both sending me a weekly count down messages at the crack of dawn every week. 

I had genetic testing done but I didn’t carry the “BRCA gene”. There is no family history; I was just an unlucky one.

With two weeks to go I woke up the morning of week eleven in tears. I was done, I was over it all. My body has had enough. Another symptom from the Taxol that I had copped in the last two weeks was neuropathy. This is where my fingernails and toenails are so sensitive and start to bruise. It hurts to walk in shoes, I have no strength in my hands, my toes and fingers have times of numbness and tingling. It puts another meaning to pain when you happen to jam your fingers and what would normally be ok to deal with is instant tears it hurts that much. 

I guess one thing that no body ever really talks about with cancer and treatments is something normally called “chemo brain” or as my oncologist puts it “cancer brain” as not all cancer is treated with chemotherapy. To me this had been a big struggle in holding conversations, thinking of words during conversations, completely losing my track of thought and having really bad short term memory loss. A lot of the time this was very embarrassing. When someone comes up to ask how you are travelling that you know, you may not speak often but you should know their name, and you can’t even introduce them to your husband standing beside you as you are too afraid you will get their name wrong. 

It’s not all bad things that come with chemotherapy, I have met some incredible and amazing people that we share a special bond with, which I will forever keep in contact with as they are amazing people.

After finishing chemo I had an ultrasound to prepare me for surgery to remove the cancer from my breast. At this ultrasound we discovered that the cancer had nearly tripled in size and grown two extra pieces in the short twelve weeks I was on Taxol. Talk about aggressive. I was seeing my breast surgeon the next day. I had packed an over night bag even though surgery wasn’t scheduled for another two weeks. My surgeon saw the results and I said to him "This has to come out asap, I've packed an overnight bag and I'm not going home until it's out". My surgeon squeezed me in the next day as an extra on his list and I could not thank him enough for this. 

Knowing it was finally out of my body was piece of mind. Four weeks of healing and some much needed family time before I had to take on my next challenge of Radiotherapy. Thirty hits of daily radiation over a six week period.

Radiation was quite easy for the first 4 weeks. The hardest part was organising somebody to have my girls while I went in every day, which was usually an hour round trip. I made a roster system and called on friends and family who helped make this time so much easier. 

The last two weeks of radiation was tough. I had become extremely tired and had started to burn. It took me about six weeks to feel like I had any sort of energy back after radiation had finished. 

To celebrate the finish of all of my treatment we had a weekend away in an OTIS Foundation retreat with great friends, playing board games, eating great food and watching movies. It was a weekend that we will cherish forever and a break away from the world that we needed.

I had a CT scan one month after radiation in the March, which came back ALL CLEAR, so we threw ourselves a cancer party to celebrate kicking cancers butt and to be able to move forward with life. I am currently on, and have been for 2.5 years, medication to suppress my oestrogen production. This puts me into chemical menopause. The main symptoms of these medications are hot flushes that can be very intense, aching joints especially in the colder weather and a lot of tiredness, which also brings mental and emotional challenges.

I'm happy to say though that I have been back at work, playing netball and getting life back to "normal". I will never be at the same physical health as what I was before getting sick, which at times is frustrating, but I am proud of what my body has been able to go through and still achieve. I have the best supportive husband that through all of this has never once stopped loving me, even with my mood swings and hot flushes. Our sweet little girls have seen so many ups and downs but still put a smile on our faces everyday.

To every woman out there, know your body and please check your boobs. It's a simple and quick process while in the shower that might just save your life. Have your husbands/partners know them too, this is just as important in case you wanted a second opinion on your thoughts, just like I did with Carl.

Last of all, life is too short not to be happy. If you aren't happy with life, you are the only one that can change it. 

Live with no regrets. 

Much love,

Julz Xx